


Alternative Medicine

by Dusty_Forgotten



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Drug Use, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 15:17:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2114766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dusty_Forgotten/pseuds/Dusty_Forgotten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caesar's in a lot of pain, but the painkillers have... side effects...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alternative Medicine

**Author's Note:**

> I just got my wisdom teeth out, so I'm actually writing this hopped up on painkillers.

“Please, someone just shoot me!”

“Take your meds!”

“No, no chems!” Caesar insisted obstinately.

“Then you’re just going to have to quit complaining.” Erin replied with crossed arms.

“There has to be something you can give me!”

“As a matter of fact, there is. Chems!”

“You’re telling me there have been tribes living without chems for two hundred years, you’re a certified _doctor_ , and there’s nothing you can do?”

The Courier bit the inside of her cheek. Well, she wasn’t really a _certified_ doctor, per se, but she was an intern to a certified doctor, so that’s better than most so-called Wasteland doctors. “I suppose there is something, but the side effects...”

“Couldn’t be worse than this. Give it to me.”

She sighed and reached into her bandoleer, not doctor’s bag. “Fine. But when you’re tripping balls, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“...Is he going to be okay?” Lucius asked cautiously. Caesar stared up through the top of the tent.

“Oh, he’ll be fine.” Erin insured, watching the leader flick his hand open and closed, distracted from his skygazing by the sound his rings made when they clinked together. “It’s only temporary. And see? He’s not in pain.”

The Son of Mars stuck one of his fingers in his mouth and pulled off the ring with his teeth. “No, Caesar! Spit that out!” Erin demanded, rushing over.

“Don’t tell me what to do, profligate...” he mumbled noncommittally around his ring.

Erin grabbed his chin and fished the ring out manually. The leader whined and batted at her, but he was too tired to fight in earnest.

“What was in that poultice you gave him?” Vulpes cut in, eyeing his Lord suspiciously.

“Oh, you know, Nightstalker Squeezin’s, cave fungus, some weird glowing mushrooms... Totally safe, I’ve tested all of it personally.” she assured as she handed the ring to Lucius. “Keep that with his powerfist, would you?”

One of the Praetorians, the one with sunglasses and a mohawk, was currently inspecting the leader. Caesar turned, and clapped his hands over the guy’s mohawk. “What are you starin’ at, shitwad?” The Praetorian quickly apologized and backed off. “Yeah, you better be scared, chicken head, I’m the Son of Mars...”

Lucius shook his head. “He’s like a five-year-old.”

Caesar rubbed his running eyes furiously. “Who’s cutting onions!?” He eyed each person in the tent in search of the offending vegetable. “I’m starving...”

“An angry five-year-old.” Vulpes corrected, and watched Caesar play with the fur on his cloak.


End file.
